Day 1- Stranger in a Strange Land

> So after waking out of my coma I met up with Juan at the hotel (I use the word “hotel” loosely. It was really like a closet with a bed in it. Maybe I’m being a little harsh but it reminded me of a high school chemistry lab for some reason. Jinjiang Inn if you’re interested. It’s like, $28 a night. No breakfasts. >:/ Anyway, Juan showed up a little late, no doubt taking a little more time to look extra fabulous. She took me somewhere. I have no idea where we were but it was like a shopping district. It was hot like the dickens! The temperature was only around 90 or so degrees F but because it was monsoon season the humidity was 8000%. We went through this shopping district and I was overwhelmed by the number of people crammed into such a small space.

In the West we are taught to move aside so people can pass as a gesture of politeness and things like that but in China people don’t care about that. You push your way through the crowds to get to where you want. I eventually got used to it and being 6’4” I didn’t have any trouble as people would get out of my way. Westerners looking to go to China better not be self-conscious because you WILL be stared whether you like it or not. People will turn their heads to look at you like how an owl does. It freaked me out a lot at first but what you need to do is lock eyes with them and try not to get weirded out. I got used to it and learned to ignore the constant staring. I was in Guangzhou, maybe the third biggest in China and while not as international as Beijing and Shanghai, I was led to believe that there were quite a few foreigners there. I went nearly a week without seeing another non-Asian person. This is going to sound really messed up but it’s important to know. If you are any ethnicity other than white then you really shouldn’t go to China. That’s unfair. Go if you like but you most likely won’t have the same experience as a white person because white tend to get preferential treatment. Most of the time. There are some Chinese who don’t like white people but they are the minority.

Aside from my freakish height people stared at me because I’m so handsome. That’s what everyone there told me. I personally consider myself to be a decent looking guy. But then again I’m very humble. ;) And I was with a Chinese girl. So I usually got looks that ranged from curious to hostile from the men while I got curious and dare I say admiring looks from a lot of the women. I could be mistaken about that but most of the foreigners (when referring to foreigners in China that usually means white people) are older men or failures who came to China to make it big and there’s a stereotype which isn’t entirely untrue about an old, ugly, foreigner with a hot, young Chinese girl although I didn’t see any of those kinds of couples while I was there. But that’s beside the point. Apparently there is a shortage of young Western men. I’m also waaaaaay taller than her. Like over a foot taller.

So we went and got food and it was delicious! Way different than American Chinese food. Juan also taught me a few Chinese words. I would point at things through the window from the 3^rd floor of the restaurant and she would say the words. I still remember what she taught me too! After that we went shopping for a while and one thing I noticed is that 95% of the stores sold clothes and all the stores had almost identical inventories. -_- I’ve never been one for clothes shopping. In fact I do everything in my power to avoid it. After a few hours of that we went back to my hotel and enjoyed the mediocre AC. I started showing her the pictures on my phone when something hilariously disastrous happened. I forgot that I had a picture of a humongous doodoo that I had taken a few months ago. I know. I’m a disgusting human being and I apologize but I thought it was so impressive it deserved to be recorded. She saw it for about a second before I jerked the phone away. A second was all she needed to recognize the fecal monster in the photo. She was surprised, and maybe a little repulsed but she laughed anyway. I tried to play it off like I didn’t know what it was or how it got on my phone. Soon after I went to lay on the bed to rest while she played with my Ipod (thankfully I was sure there were no doodoo pictures on it) and I eventually passed out at around 4pm and I woke up when Juan tried to put some blankets on me. Such a sweetheart! She let me sleep until 9 and by that time it had started pouring down rain so we ordered room service. It was good stuff but there is this one dish that never stopped freaking me out and they kept making me eat it.

Yes. That is a chicken head in my food. Not only is there a chicken head in it but this dish is also served cold. There's just something about cold meat that bugs me out. Like it's not sanitary or something. I don't even know if it was cooked but I ate it so Juan would be proud I guess. Ewwww.... Aside from chicken heads our dinner for two was fun and but she broke the tv so we had to watch this lame American Idol rip-off. I don't even like the real American Idol!