This just in. Osama bin Laden, public enemy #1 has been killed in Pakistan. And they say they have the body so it must be legit. I can't even begin to describe my feelings right now. Elation. Satisfaction. Also a little disappointed that it wasn't me who put an end to him. And to think that all this started because he got butthurt that Saudi Arabia sided with the US against Iraq back in 1991 instead of teaming up with his ragtag group of misfits. Seems like that would be an obvious choice. "Dudes who hide in caves and drink their own urine or the strongest country to ever exist? Hmmmmm...I am in a pickle!" So what made him go nuts? Wounded pride at being left behind when he was no longer useful after the Soviets pulled out of Afghanistan? Religious fanaticism at having Western soldiers in his particular patch of sand? Or maybe he just needed a boogeyman to hold onto power in his organization? Who knows and who cares. He got what he had coming to him and I hope it was painful. It just shows everyone out there who thinks they can mess with the United States that if you start some shit, we will find you, and we will fuck you up beyond reckoning. We will wage a total war against you. We will destroy ourselves, our economy, our country, the entire world, just to get you. We don't care!
On a serious note. This is especially important for me. I was in the 7th grade when I watched the 9/11 attacks happening live on TV. So for all of my adult, socially conscious life this guy has been like a dark shadow hanging over us. Just knowing that he had bloodied our nose and gotten away with it really drove Americans crazy. And now that he's dead, more importantly dead at American hands, maybe we as a country can gain back some of our sanity.
But the war isn't over yet. There are still plenty of bad guys out there that need killing. Hopefully this will demoralize the rest of them for the duration of their summer campaigns. I think it was very tactful how the US government announced this on the first day of the Taliban's summer operations. Bravo! And if Osama's spirit can somehow access the internet and find this blog I want him to know this:
You deserve to die a thousand deaths for this new age of violence and conflict that you unleashed. All the hundreds of thousands, millions of lives that have been destroyed by American vengeance are on your head. You wanted a fight so we brought the noise and you hid in your cave like a cowardly animal. You're nothing. Not even human. Just a filthy beast, unworthy of mercy or compassion. There is no heaven for you. No virgins. No paradise. You will be thrown down into the deepest and hottest (or coldest, whichever you prefer) part of Hell with the great betrayers and live out the rest of eternity in torment.
I want to send a big shout out to all the thousands of people who were involved in tracking him down over the years. You guys are the real deal. Total badasses. Keep up the good work! Who's down for a high 5? Don't leave me hangin!